Christmas Snippets

I'm in the housewares aisle at Wal-Mart, shopping for Mama. I pass an array of kitchen knives, and I am followed by a man and his sister, shopping for his wife. I desperately hope my future husband can shop for me without constant help from his sisters.

Man: She likes cooking, so I guess she'd want something to use in the kitchen...
Sister: (pointing to knives) Well, what about one of these? This is a good one...
Man: What?! No! I'm not gonna get her something she can kill me with!

From what I could tell, he was serious. It is a dark day when the deciding factor when selecting gifts for your cherished companion is the degree of injury she could inflict upon you with the object.
Merry Christmas Honey! Here's a cotton ball...