On Princes and Oatmeal: What A Girl Wants.

What do girls look for in the boys we date?
This is a looming question, ever-present and yet perpetually unanswered. It seems to confuse every male in my life, and no matter how much they grow, their wisdom on this issue never seems to expand. However, this is what we do know. Society has given men a prototype by which to gauge their success when it comes to women. The closer you are to attaining this name, the better off you are. Once you have been given this honorary title, you are golden. This measurement tool has also been given to women, to rate their own proficiency and taste when it comes to choosing a man. We compare our dates, boyfriends and crushes to this single prototype, this one invincible, flawless phenomenon.
His name is Prince Charming.

Yes, readers, you know this guy. This is what the typical girl wants in her life. This is the face of happiness and perfection. As a girl, having this man in your life is something of an accomplishment. To say, "I have found my Prince Charming" is to say "I will never have another problem! Be gone, fools and players of the past! Let me enjoy my new-found bliss!"

The Prince Charming in your life will be exactly what he is cracked up to be. He will shower you with love and attention, make you feel beautiful, and kiss your hand, sending tingles down your spine. He will adore every little bit of you, inside and out. He will get to know your little intricacies and flaws, and he will love them. Without hesitation, he will be at your side to slay dragons, creepos, or the big spider you found on the bathroom floor. He will profess his love eloquently, on one knee, with a bunch of flowers from his castle garden. He will make you swoon and sigh, and eventually, you will have to admit that he is, undoubtedly, perfect.

Over the last two weeks, I have made a very interesting and revealing discovery: I do not want Prince Charming.
Prince Charming is certainly handsome. He's brave and strong, and has a way with words. But his eloquence and charm are just the problem. This is not what I want to find when I legitimately begin the search for the Love of My Life.
The guy I want is a little more like Mowgli, from The Jungle Book. Upon seeing the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, Mowgli forgets the entire world around him, and, as I like to say, he turns into oatmeal.

The guy I want to find is not exceptionally brave! He's not stunningly handsome, and he doesn't necessarily have a high tenor Broadway singing voice.
I want a guy who will kill a spider for me, but I fully expect him to run away when the fire-breathing dragon starts roaming the town. I don't want him to profess his love on one knee, with a perfect bouquet of freshly cut roses, without a single stutter. I want the boy who takes my hand and says, "I just, I just feel so....you're just so...I mean, you know? It's like, you just....I love you!" I want him to stutter and grin and feel silly!

I don't want my guy to serenade me under the balcony at midnight. I want him to strum a guitar with his feet up on the arm of the couch, miss a note and laugh at himself, embarrassed that he displayed imperfections in front of me. I want the guy who will grin like an idiot when I walk in the door. I want the guy who is out of commission and needs 5 minutes to regain consciousness after a peck on the cheek from me. When he picks me up for a date, I don't want him to say, "My Darling, you look positively ravishing...forgive my astounding ignorance, but is that stunning dress fuchsia or magenta?" I want him to say, ".........duh...uh, WOAH."

I want a boy who will turn into oatmeal when he's around me, losing all solid concept of time, space and matter!

Prince Charming is a great guy, to be sure. He's perfect. Perfect, handsome, and boring. The guy I want is not like him. He's a little more awkward, and a little less fantastic.
I am a Princess who does not want to find A Prince. No, what I want is to find MY Prince. He's not like Prince Charming, and he's certainly not perfect.
That is precisely what I will be watching for.